Secret Service: “Dammit, we need to stop playing hide and seek.”
Calvin Coolidge: “You lose.”
Also, apparently as President he often went to dinner parties he hated. Someone finally asked why he went. His reply: “Got to eat somewhere.” Source
Be careful passing notes… ✏️ by Thomas Sanders
HOW DOES HE GET THE TEACHERS INVOLVED OH MY GOD
with baked goods, i hear
Goddamn. Smart woman for thinking of the “ordering a pizza” thing, and smart dispatcher for picking up on it.
I know this is a reblog and I have a separate blog for reblog nonsense but this isn’t nonsense. THIS IS EXTREMELY USEFUL and I wish so hard that I worlds had this knowledge two years ago.
I know that several of my followers have been and/or currently are in abusive relationships and I need to reblog this for them.
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
is your dentist also your therapist?
Your dentist should quit being a dentist and become a philosopher
my dentist just tells me i need to floss more